President Zardari jokes

Mr. President laughing on himself



How can a President of an country ban jokes on himself. Look at the photo, it seems he is laughing on himself. I don't know what kind of democracy is there in Pakistan. Being an Indian, I know there are many problems in India too, but this just overshadowed everything. Shame on you Mr. Zardari.

There are few jokes that I would like to present on Mr. Zardari. Come on Zardari catch me.

Zardari ka Farman

Subse pehlay sadar-e-Pakistan,
Mulk ko bana do Qabristan,
Khatam karo musalman,
Dollar hai apna Eman,
Or Obama hai Abba jaan

Zardari ko dekha to aisa laga

Jese khana kharab,
Jese total azaab,
Jesey Aadi faqeer,
Jesay murda zameer,
Jese Naasoor ho koii sartaa howaa,
Ek zardari ko dekha to aisa laga,
Jese bijli ka taar
Jese khanjar ki dhaar,
Jesey dozakh ki aag,
Jesey zehrila naag,
Jese garmi ki dhoop

Thousand Splendid Suns

Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

I just finished reading this book and tell you this is the most touching story I have ever read. No doubt Khaled had again done the remarkably good job after "The Kite Runner". I literally cried during the last few pages of "Thousand Splendid Suns". The way he portrayed the Afghan Women under the burqua is exceptional. He made me think that how tough the lives of these women in Afghanistan. Until now, I just see any burqua lady as a normal human being never bothered about them, but now I will see them differently- what they must be thinking inside that burqua by seeing other ladies/girls wearing skirts, working in offices. Their freedom is just limited to that burqua. The two characters in this story - Mariam and Laila are very strong women who have gone through many miseries in their life, their pain is unmeasurable. But still how they reacted to the situations, the decisions that they took truly deserves the appreciation. I recommend this book to all the book lovers.

Recession of Rains

As the world economy is now crippled by recession even God has become merciless. The rain God itself is affected by recession. This year in north India the rains are coming in bits and pieces. I have never seen such kind of monsoon season. It comes for 5 minutes and then whole week there are no signs of it. Imagine the condition of farmers who depend on these rains to produce agricultural products. I have seen pictures in newspapers, people praying for rain but all in vein.

Please God show some mercy and give us the beautiful season of monsoon with lots of rains as it was in previous years.

India Budget Highlights 2009-10

There are a lot of expectations from the finance minister this time around. The industry and the common man are waiting with bated breath to see what Pranab unveils for them. The stock market (BSE) opened up and gained 100 points and reached the figure of 15000. Here are some highlights of the budget:

1. Allocation for urban poor for provision for housing and basic amenities to be raised to Rs 3,973 crore in the current year.

2. Indian Infrastructure Finance Company Limited will re-finance commercial bank loans upto 60 per cent in critical projects through public private partnership to the tune of Rs 1,00,000 crore to raise investment in the sector.

3. Central assistance for storm-water drainage project increased to Rs 500 crore from Rs 200 crore in the interim budget.

4. Target for agriculture credit raised to Rs 3,25,000 crore in 2009-10 from Rs 287,000 crore.

5. Additional allocation of Rs 1,000 crore for accelerated irrigation project.

6. Govt to set up expert panel for petroleum product pricing as the domestic oil prices should be in tune with global prices.

7. Banks and insurance companies outside the divestment plan.

8. Saral Form II to be reintroduced, says FM. In 4 years, filing tax returns online to be made easier.

9. Rs 7,000 crore to rural electrification scheme.

10. Banks and insurance firms to remain in public sector.

11. Modernisation of national exployment exchanges to be carried out.

12. One lakh dwelling units for paramilitary forces personnel to be constructed.

13. Rs 2,113 crore allocated for IITs and new IITs.

14. Allocation for Commonwealth Games increased to Rs 3,472 crore from Rs 2,112 crore.

15. Total budget expenditure for 2009-10 will Rs 10,28,032 crore, crossing Rs 10 lakh crore mark for the first time since Independence.

16. Plan expenditure, for both Centre and States, to go up by Rs 61,000 crore over the interim budget.

17. Tax proposals! No change in Corporate Tax.

18. Defence gets Rs 1,41,703 crore for 2009-10, a 34 per cent hike from 2008-09 budgetary allocation of Rs 1,05,600 crore.

19. Tax proposals! Income Tax rates exemption limit to raised from Rs 180,000 to 190,000 for women.

20. Tax proposals! Income Tax rates exemption limit to 2.25,000 to 2,40,000 for senior citizens.

21. TAX: SURCHARGE ON income tax phased out.

22. FRINGE BENEFIT TAX ABOLISHED.

23. Personal income tax exemption limit raised by Rs 10,000.

24. Commodities Transaction Tax abolished!

25. SECURITIES TRANSACTION TAX cut

26. Personal income tax exemption limit for senior citizens raised by Rs 15,000.

As I am updating the details sensex continues to plummet: down 430.54 points to 14,482.51.

27. The first Unique Identification Card to citizens will roll out in 12-18 months.

28. 10 per cent surcharge on personal income tax removed.

29. 5% customs duty on set top boxes.

Markets down by 601 points. Thumbs down to budget.

30. Small businesses up to Rs 40 lakh (Rs 4 million0 turnover exempted from filing advance tax returns.

31. Income tax incentives on education loans expanded to cover vocational studies after schooling.

32. Small businesses up to Rs 40 lakh exempted from filing advance tax returns.

A tip: Aggressive investors should buy into textile stocks which are now available at dirt cheap prices

33. Indian Union Budget 2009-2010: Spending on higher education to be increased and allocation of Rs 2130 crore to set up more IIT and NIITs. A central university has been proposed in each state, says Pranab

34. Customs duty on LCD panels halved from 10% to 5%.

35. Customs Duty to be reduced on drugs for heart treatment.

36. Customs duty on gold and silver import increased.

37. There will be an imposition of 5% custom duty on set top boxes. Hence this is very bad news for Dish TV, Sun TV, Airtel, Videocon and WWIL.

Sensex down by 710 points

negative 743 now

Getting bored in office?

I just come across a mail where some interesting ideas are given to pass your time in office, when getting bored. Here are they:

1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting
next.
2. Make blank calls to your Boss.
3. Count your fingers (and toes if you get bored).
4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else
chair just to irritate him/her.
5. Send mails from ms-mail to your internet mail (and
immediately get to the internet and see who reaches
first, you or your mail?) and read them there, and
note down the time they take to reach there.
6. Watch other people changing their facial
expressions while working and try changing your
expressions also.
7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as
possible, just by asking silly doubts.
8. Have work breaks in between tea.
9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.
10. Read jokes and send jokes.
11. Revise last week's newspaper.
12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.
13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.
14. Compile "How to waste your day"
15. Pick up phone and dial non existing no.s
16. Make faces at strangers in office.
17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can
open at a time.
18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin
and restore them.. Then repeat this process.
19. Look at someone & try to imagine how(s) he might
have looked when(s) he was 5 years old.
20. Learn to whistle.
21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table
provided and take a nap.

PS: This stuff is copy/pasted from somewhere.